Travelers Say the Darndest Things, Part 1

Location: Various

Type of Idiocy: Lack of Education, SFB (Shit for brains), Failure to filter oration of Shit for brains

Consequences: Possible continued spread of the disease “SFB”, potential addition to the as of yet unwritten “do not associate” list,


Case #1

Relayed to us by our friend Katrin from Germany, who had this revelatory conversation with a man from New Zealand.

Kiwi: So where are you from?

Katrin: I’m from Germany.

Kiwi: Oh, so you’re from the capital.

Katrin: No, I’m not from Berlin.

Kiwi: But you said you’re from Germany.

Katrin: Yeah…

Kiwi: Yeah, the capital of Europe.

Katrin: … … …

Case #2

While staying in a dormroom in Koh Tao, Thailand, Arienne and I were sitting on her bunk watching a television show. Suddenly, our Swedish dormmate swiftly opens the door and sticks his head into the room while looking at us:

Tristan: Are you coming in?

Swede: Oh, I just wanted to make sure you weren’t having sex.

(Arienne and I exchange confused looks)

Arienne: Well, sorry to disappoint you.

Swede: Oh no, that’s okay. Because if you wanted to, you could have sex.

(More confused looks)

Arienne: Well, thanks for letting us know.

Tristan: You know, if you were so concerened about us having sex, you might have knocked before opening the door.

Swede: (Creepy look)

(Moments later, on his way out of the room)

Swede: Do you want me to lock the door so you can have sex?

Arienne: No, we’re pretty okay right now.

Swede: You sure? Alright then. (closes the door) … … … (Opens the door again, creepy look) Just making sure. (closes and leaves)

Arienne & Tristan: What the f**k was that?

Moral of the Stories: (sigh)… Idiots, can’t live with them… can’t have SFB without them. Let’s just hope that our Knuckleheaded Kiwi doesn’t go to France and teach his version of European geography, and that our unsavoury Swede (legally) finds whatever it is he’s looking for.