Normally when people hear the word ‘goon’, they think of some hired thug or a stupid ignorant roughneck. Interestingly enough, in Australia goon is a type of wine, which pretty much fits the definitions provided above. Goon, the Australian kind, is a type of wine that falls under the “boxed” vintage variety. To be more technical, a box of Goon has a plastic bladder inside which contains it’s vinaceous contents, meaning it’s out of one bladder and into another. Goon’s taste can be described as “a party in your mouth and everyone’s invited.” That is, if everyone lived in squalor and called rainy days ‘cleaning time’. Which segues nicely into the type of people who drink Goon. Considering it’s extreme affordability and it’s ‘so desperate it’s comical’ drinkability, Goon is the preferred beverage of 4 in 10 backpackers*. It can often be found in hostels or dorms, and sometimes even being offered for free as a party starter in well-reputed accommodations. Because, you know, nothing says, “you’re a valued customer” like 4L of boxed discount red. Evenings spent consuming Goon will usually begin a little fuzzy, moving rapidly onto ‘concrete-y’. But don’t you worry your little budget strapped traveling heart: should you be hard pressed to choose between a cask of Goon or an evening’s accommodations, always remember that when empty, Goon’s plastic bladder can be inflated into a pillow for your travelling and sleeping convenience. Hmm, how about that!?!
*70% of all statistics are made up on the spot, including this one.
(Note: this article is firmly ‘tongue in cheek’. It should not be taken seriously. Goon ain’t that bad and getting drunk on it is a right of passage on the backpacking trail in Australia.)